10 wrong assumptions women have about men
So, you think you’ve got men all figured out, eh? Think again.
- Women are more intuitive than men
- Men blame themselves more than women do
- Men give more detailed explanations
- Men don’t touch others as much as women do
- Men don’t listen as well as women
- Men are less emotional when they speak
- Men ask more questions than women do
- Men are equally anxious to talk about safe sex and STDs
- Men laugh at the same things women do
Surprise, surprise -- Men talk more than women!
Entire books have been written on the subject. Songs have been sung about it. Movies have been made around it. But in truth, there is no such thing as “Women’s Intuition”. Sorry.
Scientific studies dispelled the myth that women are more intuitive than men ages ago. However, some research does suggest that women pay more attention to detail than men do. Anthropologist Ashley Montagu says that women are more sensitive to colour discrimination — where a woman would say “ebony”, a man would simply say “black”. It’s this attention to detail that makes it seem like women have more intuitive sense than men, because they notice the subtler signals in a situation that men usually miss. But mind-reading? Puh-leese.
2. Women are talkers; men are listeners
Surprise, surprise: men have the bigger mouths, after all!
Studies have repeatedly shown that men talk more than women do in virtually any given situation (except arguments, perhaps), from as far back as 1951. In the most recent study by the linguist Marjorie Swacker, three pictures by Albrecht Durer
Women took an average of 3.17 minutes for their descriptions. The men took an unbelievable 13.00 minutes.
He didn’t get the promotion he was counting on, and he’s really down in the dumps. You see the signs of his impending breakdown draw around him. You know those signs; you’ve had them before. Right now, he’s just disappointed. But soon, he’s going to be beating himself up with bitter regret and thoughts of, “I could have done it if only I….” And then, outright anger will set in. It’s an implosion in slow motion.
Fast talking baby girl.
Except that the breakdown never happens. Wonder of wonders, in a couple of days, he’s back on his feet and as cheery as a canary on a sunny Sunday.
The fact is that women are much harder on themselves than men are. They assume responsibility when things go wrong, even if there was no way they could be to blame. Need proof? Well, ask yourself this: why do women use apologetic phrases more than men like “I’m sorry” and “Excuse me” so much?
Remember #2 in this list? Well, although men do tend to talk a whole lot more than women, they don’t necessarily say much more. Women still offer much more detail about an incident or their day at work than men, which is an odd contradiction when you stop to think about it — where does all his breath go?
Although men can give more detailed explanations about something, they often choose not to, preferring to be efficient in their communication rather than exhaustive. Women, on the other hand, give you the gory details anyway… whether you want to hear them or not.
Wrong again. It seems that men are touchy, feely people, too.
Research has proven that men are more likely to touch people than women, whether male or female. When in male company, it’s by backslapping or handshaking. When in female company, it’s by doing gentlemanly acts like helping women in and out of cars or leading them through a doorway. Nancy Henley, professor of psychology at the University of California, found that men touched women four times more often than women touched men, believe it or not. However, it’s important that women do not interpret these touches as sexual advances, especially if it’s on her back or shoulders. We said ‘gentlemanly’; not ‘sexually’!
You pour your heart out to him, and his face remains impassive. He shows no signs of listening to you, let alone understanding anything you’re saying. Why is he ignoring you?
Well, he’s not. It’s just that men look less attentive than women when being spoken to. Sally McConnell-Ginett, a researcher at Cornell University, found that women are more inclined to say “um-hum” than men when listening to another person. Men, on the other hand, are as cool as cucumbers, and prefer to remain blank and expressionless. Why? So they don’t lead the speaker into thinking that they either agree or disagree with what they’re saying!
Real men can cry now.
Rubbish. The only reason it seems that way is because men express their emotions differently from women. It’s all a question of style.
Paul Ekman from UCLA found that whilst women typically have five different tones in their speech, men only have three. That’s why women appear to be more emotional than men — those peaks and valleys in their speech really dramatise things… even when they’re saying the same thing as the men!
Also, women’s speech is much more animated and their body language more distinct, making them more interesting and engaging. Add to that the fact that women are more likely to cry or have a quaver in their voice when talking about something bad, and it’s no wonder you think men are such cold creeps.
Nope. Surely you’ve realized by now that virtually all men are Mr. Know-it-Alls. So, if they know everything, why should they ask questions?
If there is one general assumption about men that is correct, it is that men really are egotistical creatures. Asking questions mean that they’re not in the know about something, which would be utterly devastating to their self-esteem. Therefore, they remain silently ignorant… unless they’re pretty sure no one around them has the answer anyway. That’s why male scientists don’t mind asking questions about the origins of the universe, but refuse to call up their mothers for the family’s chicken stew recipe.
I hate to disappoint you, but although men may be concerned about safe sex and STDs, they are much less likely to bring up the subject. In her book He Says, She Says
Although men are as aware as you about the dangers of unprotected sex and STDs, they are also more embarrassed when it comes to talking about it. They think that women ought to take care of intimate matters of their relationship like these serious subjects, and will wait for them to bring them up before offering any ideas of their own.
A man’s idea of a good laugh.
Whatever gave women the idea that men find gynaecological jokes funny, I don’t know. Men are men, for crying out loud — which part of that sentence do you not get?
Research shows that whereas women’s jokes tend to be more focused on word play and puns, men’s jokes are more sarcastic and abrasive than women’s, and far more aggressive. When it comes to laughter, men and women do not see eye-to-eye. So leave your penile dysfunction gags and your soiled pad anecdotes for your girlfriends, please.
