10 steps to be the girl every man wants
Be like her and you won't need the car.
It’s easy to become irresistible to men. Don’t believe us? Check out these easy-to-follow steps!
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Always be well-groomed
Think of the woman whom you consider to be the best-dressed babe in your office — what kind of responses does she evoke from your male colleagues? Respect? Awe? Lust? It’s easy to understate the importance of being well-groomed, yet a good-fitting suit — one that accentuates the right curves and hides the flab — does wonders for your personal outlook.
“It’s called the halo effect,” explains Steven Jeffes, author of Appearance is Everything
(Sterling House). “People who are attractive are presumed to possess higher levels of intellect and motivation, they’re presumed to be friendlier and more outgoing, as well as perceived to be capable of far greater accomplishments than those who are not. It’s all based on perception.”
Well-groomed does not mean expensive or even beautiful. You may never be a movie star, but at the very least, you can look pleasant. So, take a good look at yourself and your wardrobe. Are you wearing clothes that suit your body type? Do you have at least one nice dress to use on dates, one that really brings out your best features, one that has never failed to make heads turn? What about your hair — are you maintaining it at a suitable length? The ‘halo effect’ can not only help your career, but can also make you one of the hottest assets around.
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Learn how to cook
‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,’ goes the old saw. So, if you know how to cook, you’ve already won half the battle. And if you know how to cook well, then I don’t know why you’re reading this in the first place!
How to cook bacon.
Cooking does not mean fried chicken or instant noodles (even if it does come with veggies and tuna). Cooking means curries, pies, soups, stews… and none of that out-of-the-packet seasoning. Not many men know how to cook themselves, but they all have mothers and they know the difference between a real home-cooked meal and a poor, instant imitation.
If you don’t know at least four or five dishes already, then pick up a cookbook (I recommend anything by Jamie Oliver
— his recipes really do work!) and start experimenting. Cooking is an art, and the only way to improve is through practice. The hypnotic effect good food has on a man — any man — is well documented. Cook your target a curry or something and you’ll leave an indelible impression on his mind.
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Laugh a lot
It’s been said that the most attractive characteristic a man can possess is a powerful sense of humour. Well, the same is true for women … to a certain extent. Although it’s usually the man who is expected to make the woman laugh, all men can appreciate a woman who can do the same in return, especially one who can laugh at herself.
Men and their jokes are often insensitive to women, which is what made Catherine 23, so appealing to Brad, 25: she was able to laugh right along to his buddies’ jokes about women’s PMS.
“She listened attentively and laughed out loud when the punchlines hit, even though the jokes were aimed at her sex,” recalls Brad. “It made me think: now here is a woman who is a lot of fun — I’d like to get to know her better.”
The one thing that usually makes men better friends than women is that they know when a joke is a joke, even if it’s aimed at them. They don’t take things as personally as women are likely to. If you can learn to detach yourself in this way, you’ll be one of his favourite people to hang around with — always irresistible.
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Don’t be Needy
Although the movies and songs tell you otherwise, men actually love women who are independent enough to take care of themselves. Needy women mean high-maintenance, and most men to not want that kind of burden on their time and energy.
The Needy Woman.
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Read a lot
Although you don’t have to be a nuclear physicist to hold a conversation with a man, most men — the ones worth knowing, at least — do expect a degree of intellect that is at least equal to their own. In the airline hospitality industry, stewards often joke about whether a woman could be a wife or only a girlfriend. Dumb blondes always fall into the second category.
Yes, it’s true that some men are intimidated by women who seem smarter than them. But these blokes are not the ones we’re interested in, are we? Insecure men (or women, for that matter) are like orphaned earrings: you never know whether to keep them in the hope that they find what it is they’re missing; or whether to throw them out because they’re only cluttering up your space. But you always end up doing the latter anyway.
Read books that stimulate thought. Do a general knowledge quiz or IQ test
now and then to sharpen your wit. Watch documentaries instead of those dumb reality TV shows. All of the above will help make you more interesting and more appealing — intellectually — than before. Now, even if he does get bored of gazing into your eyes, he’ll never get bored of hearing you speak.
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Be a Smiley, not a Grumpy
A smile never goes out of fashion.
Smileys have always met with more success than Grumpies when it comes to making friends. A pleasant grin lights up your eyes and makes you glow, giving you a radiance that no amount of make-up or exercise can do. It is a universally-accepted way of showing your agreeable nature, and is easily the most effective way of becoming more sexy and attractive in an instant.
If you’ve got nothing to be happy about, then you’ve got to start from the bottom up. Start smiling even if you don’t feel like it. Soon, the smiles will come easier to you, and you’ll be able to do it without thinking. Keep it up, and you’ll turn your downward-turned lips into a pleasant, sunny face — one he’ll enjoy seeing anytime of the day.
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Respect his space
When men date women they lose some of their personal space. There is nothing wrong with that — by dating you, they are agreeing to let you into their world to see how you like it. But like your space, their space is personal and to intrude upon it everyday will make him feel crowded.
“I couldn’t stand the way she just wanted to do everything with me,” says Alan, 26, in recalling a girl whom he used to date. “Whether it was going to the pub or playing a game of football, she just had to come along. I felt choked. There was no room for me anymore!”
You have to learn to tell how close is too close (see our sidebar: Just How Much Space Is Enough?), and once you know the boundaries, stay out of them. A woman who can respect a man’s space like that will be his favourite gal for a long, long time.
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Know a little about sports
David Beckham
In Bend It Like Beckham
, Parminder Nagra plays the role of a football-mad girl who wants to play soccer. How I wish my girlfriends were like that when I was young. But whilst men will never expect you to tell a banana kick from a drive, they will appreciate it if you could tell the difference between Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal.
My dream girl.
Women who are able to dig the World Cup are in particularly high demand when the competition comes around every four years. Why not start doing your homework now? Better yet, why not choose a team to support?
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Have a hobby
Women who are bored are unattractive because it looks like they do not value their own time and space. Men are very drawn to women who have an engrossing hobby of some sort, one that they can retreat to every now and then. Partly, it’s because by having that hobby, you are declaring that your life is very much your own and is separate from his. But it is also the indefinable attraction that men have for a woman who is concentrating on something.
So, why not take up something interesting like photography or writing or paragliding? Women who write poetry are said to be very intriguing to men, because the prose they compose is often beyond the comprehension of the male mind (and very often beyond the female mind, too). Women who can sing and play the piano or guitar are particularly sexy. There are thousands of possible hobbies out there
— pick one up that interests you, because that will keep you interesting to him.
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Sharpen your bedroom skills
Ah, I suppose this was to be expected. You cannot expect to be irresistible if you don’t know how to get it on. But it’s more than just sex. You have to be able to give the impression that you know every trick there is to know without needing a live demonstration to prove it.
We’ve all met a man or woman who has given us the feeling that he or she knows a thing or two about carnal pleasure. Yet, these same people do not appear slutty or cheap, because they’re not. It’s in the sparkle in their eye when they look at you, or in the way their lips curl into a smile. You feel like giving yourself up to them and letting them do what they will with you, because you’re positive that they know best.
Do your research — on the Web, in women’s magazines, the DVD shop — and learn all you can about sex
. It’s the one thing that never goes out of fashion with men.
How much space is too much space?
Too little space |
Just enough space |
Too much space |
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You call him up on the hour, every hour, throughout his workday |
You call him up once, just to see if he’s had lunch. |
You make it a point to never call him during office hours |
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Your weekend schedule starts with meeting him at 9am on Saturday and ends when you kiss goodnight at 10pm on Sunday. |
You wait for him to call around lunchtime Saturday to meet for a movie and maybe a quiet dinner later on. |
Neither of you call each other. After all, you’ll probably bump into each other at the flea market. |
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You know the names of all his girlfriends from age five onwards. |
You know the name of his last girlfriend. |
You don’t know if he’s had any girlfriends before you or not. |
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You insist on using your voice for his voicemail welcome message: “Hi, this is John’s phone, but he’s not available right now…” |
His voicemail has his voice and your voicemail has yours. |
His voicemail has the husky voice of some other woman you’ve never met, breathing, “John’s a little, um, preoccupied just now, but if you leave your name…” |
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When he calls, you know it’s him. |
When he calls, you get a feeling that it could be him. |
When he calls, you’re sure it’s not him. |